|I don't need any of you.
||[Apr. 25th, 2010|12:57 pm]
My father and grandparents are in Santa Cruz visiting my brother right now. I figure, if Mashall is so busy that he can't even return my phone calls most of the time then I'm not going to bother visiting him.|
So now I'm at my grandparents' house all by myself. My plan was to figure out where to go to teach English with Daves ESL Cafe, but their website is down for some reason. It's a Sunday, I spent all week job hunting here, and I have nothing to show for it.
I kind of want to start drinking, but at the same time, it seems like a bad idea. I ran out of antidepressants on Thursday and only was able to get the prescription renewed yesterday afternoon, so getting tore up for the second time this week seems a little like bad news.
I've talked a lot, but the fact of the matter is I'm still not completely sure why I went straight or why I stopped. It's just an action. It's like jumping off a bridge. If you stop thinking about it, you do it, and then it's done and there's no turning back.
At any rate, I just feel very done with this whole state of things. Like I don't even know why I bother.